i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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