elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
