Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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