so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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