Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN