i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now