Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..

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  (561): I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho.. http://tfl.nu/ry7a
  Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

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  (979): Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ikem
  Replies (26) Good night (738) Bad night (3672) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  ...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.

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  (310): ...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have. http://tfl.nu/9vj6
  Replies (53) Good night (785) Bad night (4378) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants

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  (512): I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants http://tfl.nu/4e8k
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations

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  (540): Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations http://tfl.nu/sqlo
  Replies (17) Good night (2023) Bad night (3978) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend

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  (908): it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend http://tfl.nu/ha54
  Replies (6) Good night (2894) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?

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  (614): Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team? http://tfl.nu/idfg
  Replies (12) Good night (3498) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

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  (562): I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/qbx3
  Replies (10) Good night (3366) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.

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  (412): You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it. http://tfl.nu/867s
  Replies (3) Good night (1669) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.

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  (506): They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them. http://tfl.nu/xyk5
  Replies (8) Good night (2794) Bad night (432)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj

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  (914): I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj http://tfl.nu/ijru
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1355) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

  (347): View more from New York

  I can't even drink.

  (646): View more from New York

  The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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  (646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1739) Bad night (423)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

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  (785): Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas. http://tfl.nu/amy7
  Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (124) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.

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  (323): In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink. http://tfl.nu/5x8b
  Replies (5) Good night (533) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt

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