Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
