Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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