I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
be right there i have to get my cape
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
