Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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