I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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