ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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