i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
