shes about as inviting as chlamydia
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize