STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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