after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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