There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.