I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"