Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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