Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful