I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.