Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
