Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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