You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
