he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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