Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
