saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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