Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just threw up on my dentist
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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