you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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