When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
