i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg