Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.

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(314): So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes. http://tfl.nu/wpyi

Replies (5) Good night (825) Bad night (2312)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.

(1-623): View more from Arizona

Where are you?

(623): View more from Arizona

A place I should not be.

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(623): Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors. (1-623): Where are you? (623): A place I should not be. http://tfl.nu/jfq9

Replies (19) Good night (3980) Bad night (741)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

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(413): your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight, http://tfl.nu/r6s4

Replies (11) Good night (3413) Bad night (1226)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.

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(717): I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian. http://tfl.nu/9yc5

Replies (49) Good night (5358) Bad night (2013)
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(415): View more from California

i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap

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(415): i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap http://tfl.nu/bmh2

Replies (13) Good night (1497) Bad night (5353)
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(360): View more from Washington

We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.

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(360): We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced. http://tfl.nu/trxy

Replies (4) Good night (3505) Bad night (1279)
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(727): View more from Florida

And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan

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(727): And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/mm2g

Replies (7) Good night (2248) Bad night (779)
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(443): View more from Maryland

If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.

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(443): If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating. http://tfl.nu/mpso

Replies (8) Good night (830) Bad night (2149)
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(954): View more from Florida

I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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(954): I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday http://tfl.nu/q72i

Replies (10) Good night (1804) Bad night (690)
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(410): View more from Maryland

SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't text me with that hand

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(410): SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR (610): Don't text me with that hand http://tfl.nu/c1bj

Replies (16) Good night (3590) Bad night (794)
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(319): View more from Iowa

ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation

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(319): ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation http://tfl.nu/4iz3

Replies (13) Good night (1179) Bad night (1058)
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(425): View more from Washington

The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.

(541): View more from Oregon

Mole people?

(425): View more from Washington

Mole people

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(425): The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are. (541): Mole people? (425): Mole people http://tfl.nu/8coi

Replies (8) Good night (1409) Bad night (511)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.

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(570): Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep. http://tfl.nu/bc4p

Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (384)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.

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(603): At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great. http://tfl.nu/qakx

Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (271)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe

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(717): You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe http://tfl.nu/dtm8

Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (282)

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