she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
