oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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