Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm having to shit out rocks
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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