You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
