Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
