I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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