Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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