Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
