it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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