dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
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And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY