This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want her autograph on my taint
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?