Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
