THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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