hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
