my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
