He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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