Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
