does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
