Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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