I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
