I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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