Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
