He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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