Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
