the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
