are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
