it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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