apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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