are you still at the devil's house?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
