bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
