Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
